Valentine’s Day always comes with its very own and unique sense of keenness. Nearly everybody seems to have an infectious smile of anticipation and a spring in their step. Celebrating this ‘Day of Love’ is now a very important event in the social calendar and for many a personal one too. But for some people it seems challenging to join in the festivities. The reasons can vary from their relationship going through a difficult patch to a break-up that they are yet to come to terms with; or quite simply that they are yet to find their ‘special’ someone
Frequently this particular group of people will ‘endure’ the entire Valentines week and especially February 14 with a strong feeling of loneliness and sense of dread. Often experiencing a touch of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, self-doubt, self-reproach; sometimes tearfulness and low self-esteem is common. Most of these symptoms remain confined to the particular day or may sometimes last the week; but seldom persist.
Popularly grouped under the heading of ‘Anniversary Reactions’; this peculiar ‘state’ of our mind is confined around a particular date which has special emotional significance for that person or a day of public celebrations. However failure to acknowledge and work on the presence of these symptoms may lead to impulsive and rash decisions; often with dire consequences.
If you have the predicament of being all by yourself this February 14, let’s take a look at some things that we tend to ‘forget’ during a break up and a few ‘unconventional’ reasons to celebrate Valentine’s Day
It’s a day to cherish love: The often ignored fact about Valentine’s Day is to remember that it’s about appreciating anyone or anything that you care for in your life; from old friendships to your pet.
You were never alone: We often tend to forget the other people that are concerned for you. Actually, your support group is more like a web of relations with each person at its centre. So tell all those people that you remember and care: parents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, friends, teachers, mentors, just to name a few.
It takes two to tango: It’s quite possible that you shared a special bond with your ex. But a more complete and enriching sense of understanding and happiness can be found with someone who is willing to work on the nitty-gritty of everyday life with you. So have faith and move on.
Your life – your script: The sum total of our life is never defined by success or failure in one particular relationship. Keep in mind that each of us has the power to write or renew the script of their own life; so make yours a good one.
You alone are worth rejoicing: Finally, please do remember to take some time off to celebrate and pamper the unique and inimitable individual that is you.
The author is a Consultant Psychiatrist, Sexologist, Department Of Mental Health And Behavioural Sciences, Hiranandani Hospital, Vashi and also attached to S L Raheja Hospital, Mahim